


Accidental Intergalactic Host

by Eorendel



Series: Avengers react to [3]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Guardians of the Galaxy (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Awesome Bucky Barnes, Bromances everywhere, Domestic Avengers, Established Relationship, Fanboys - Freeform, Fluff, Friendship, Gen, Good Intentions, Guest Stars, Hair Braiding, Home Invasion, Humor, Kissing, Love Confessions, M/M, Misunderstandings, Multi, Pixar, Protective Steve Rogers, Rowdy house guests, Russian Assassin Communication, Team Bonding, The Author Regrets Nothing, The Internet is..., Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony is chill af, anger issues, cute groot
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-12
Updated: 2016-07-12
Packaged: 2018-07-23 16:04:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,158
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7470036
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Eorendel/pseuds/Eorendel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Peter French braids hair (and he’s actually really good at it). </p>
<p>Groot gets spoon fed (and he loves it).</p>
<p>Rocket discovers the Internet (and he’s baffled by many things (gets Rick Rolled twice) and ends up totally enraptured by Bucky’s bookmarks).</p>
<p>Gamora and Drax sort of become fans of Pixar movies (and tear up in the process of watching Up).</p>
<p>Or where Bucky is a good host to the friendly “outer space beings” that aren’t Thor (that might or might not have trespassed on private property while blocking Jarvis’s entire network communication – almost giving Steve a heart attack – all of that before supper, shesh).</p>
<p>#onebadpun</p>
            </blockquote>





	Accidental Intergalactic Host

**Author's Note:**

> A big Thank You to [stirlingphoenix](http://archiveofourown.org/users/stirlingphoenix/works) for helping me edit this story! <3
> 
>  
> 
> 7/8/2016  
> Edit: As per request of the lovely AnaStmyr a second chapter/continuation will be done :)

Bucky was _chilling_ in his room, listening to _The Smiths_ (Tony had been hilariously delighted when Bucky told him that particular tidbit about his new found taste in the band (and then took it upon himself to recommend him more songs (every song) and bands respectively (he had to be stopped _manually_ not long after))) and browsing in his Starkpad a recipe to do for dinner – because unlike the rest of the Avengers, he was a _natural good cook_ – when Jarvis’ voice interrupted him in the middle of his quest to find the best option to use quiche and broccoli in the same dish – while attempting to make it appealing to the food nitpicker of the group: Tony  A.K.A. “Genius, Billionaire, Playboy, Philanthropist, I Hate All Vegetables” Stark.

“Sgt. Barnes please head towards the southwest wall in your suite as quickly as possible. There is a concealed elevator within that will directly take you to a safe room underground while I try to reconnect communication with the outside world.”

“Jarvis, what’s going on?” Bucky asked calmly, leaning down on the floor, searching under his bed for the “kiddy toy” Tony had given him a few weeks ago.

(A miniaturized railgun isn't a kiddy toy though but Bucky swore secrecy so _shhh_ …)

“One minute ago I detected an airship approaching the tower at great speed, I made the appropriate calculations and concluded that the ship came from outer space, but before I could make any contact with either the ship or with any member of the Avengers, all communications were jammed or disabled by the strange signal coming directly from the ship.”

Bucky hummed and nodded, walking calmly towards his living room. “Are we boarded yet?”

“The ship is currently over the Quinjet’s airspace.” Jarvis, then, added with a grave tone, “Sgt. Barnes, I urge you to go to the emergency room and remain there until backup comes.”

“Let me scout the perimeter first.” Bucky said, making his way towards the elevator to the top floor. “If it makes you feel better I’m not going to engage with the intruders.” The _unless I have to_ went unsaid.

Jarvis didn’t let Bucky’s evasives sway him. “Sgt. Barnes, I believe the best course of action is for you to follow the evacuation protocol as Captain Rogers has indicated.”

“Is there anything invaluable in the tower we have to hide first?” Bucky asked instead, already planning how to approach the common room.

“Captain Roger and Sir have clearly, and explicitly, directed that your wellbeing is the top priority in these circumstances.”

That made him pause. “Tony too?” Steve was a sure given (with all the fuss he usually made when he stepped alone outside the tower (he basically stalked him the first time Bucky went alone to buy a Burger. That day will remain in infamy. It didn’t end well for any of the participants)), Bucky knew, but Tony?

“Sir holds you in great esteem, Sgt. Barnes.” Jarvis declared with certainty.

“Does he now...” Bucky smirked. “Jarvis, can I use this information for future reference?”

“I suppose I could grant it if you were willing to go back and use the emergency room.”

“Ha! Sneaky.” Bucky chuckled. “Good try, but no. Not yet.” Bucky quieted, pressing his back to the wall as he heard voices getting nearer.

He took a deep breath quietly and listened.

“—you had to go and emit the defence pulse, didn't you! Don't you know the meaning of the word _restraint_?”

“Stop yapping away already. It was a preventive measure against the unforeseeable future!”

“That's your way of saying you want to start a fight!”

Bucky could hear three sets of footsteps and a small set of quicker – and lighter – footsteps approaching.

“We came here in peace! To make allies! Cutting down their first line of defence isn't how you make us seem friendly or, _you know_ , peaceful! And stop waving those things around, you’re gonna shoot someone in the face!”

“I am Groot!”

“ _Exactly!_ ”

“There doesn't seem to be anyone in here.”

A new voice.

“Maybe they evacuated?”

Another new voice said.

“See! We scared them away! This is totally your fault Rocket!”

“Excuse _me_? Who was whining all the way here: what if they attack us before we say anything? What if they don't like us? _Boohoo_ What if they don’t want to hear us? What if _blah_ _blah_ **_blah_**. Peter _Crybaby_ Quill, that's who!”

“I _am_ Groot.”

“What? He started it!”

Bucky listened as they dissolved into a bickering mess.

“Jarvis, don't talk no matter what. Okay? I'll give you a signal. I'm gonna do something.” Bucky didn't let Jarvis respond as he carefully stepped into the view of the invaders, his hands stayed loose at his sides while he tried not to look threatening. The group turned to him immediately with different degrees of apprehension, hostility and relief. _They are an odd group_ , Bucky thought to himself.

“Who are you?” He asked simply, watching their reactions – the green girl and the big tattooed man looked impassive and calm, the blond bearded man seemed nervous while he held some sort of pot with a plant in it – who looked rather adorable while it waved at him – and the last one, presumably a raccoon, looked suspiciously hostile as held a massive firearm on his shoulder.

“Hi!” The blond man said, “I’m Peter, I’m so sorry we barged in so suddenly! We aren’t this bad mannered... _usually_! But we were kinda in a rush. You see, our friend Rocket is an unreasonable paranoiac that is entirely over prepared most of the time and decided to act on his own. It's nothing personal! He just does these kinds of things.” Peter threw a pointed look at the raccoon, Rocket, somehow Bucky knew he was missing some kind of joke. “That being said, we are here on a mission, um, ah, I didn’t catch your name?”

“Bucky.”

Peter nodded. “So you see, we are called The Guardians of the Galaxy. We kinda saved a planet and actually the galaxy, sort of; also, we saved lots of people from this mass murderer dude who wanted _revenge_ ; how unimaginative, right?” He paused, signaling at the big man, “like Drax here minus the mass murdering and more nobler reason because that dude was a _nutjob_ and he was conspiring with another dude—Gamora’s pseudo-step dad—, ‘cause he kidnapped her and trained her to be a weapon—he gave the angry-mascara-guy something _reaaaally_ dangerous to use but we stopped him because _O-O-H Child_ is a legendary song. And that would be our official cards of presentation, we aren't the bad guys. Well, maybe a quarter of bad, but who isn't really?—” Peter went on.

Bucky noticed how the rest of Peter’s crew looked exasperated but equally fond of their friend. Bucky was listening to Peter’s ramblings and he gathered that they were there on a mission and that they needed to talk to the Avengers. He held his hand up, halting the tirade of the story of some _“smoking-hot Rajak girl”_ – whatever that meant.

“No matter how interesting your story sounds,” Bucky said politely, “I think it'd be better if you saved it for the people who you're actually going to have this discussion with about the Rolling Stones.”

“Infinity Stones.” Peter narrowed his eyes suspiciously, trying to decipher whether Bucky was serious or not.

It had to be a joke he made there, surely?

Surely.

“Sure.” Bucky shrugged. “Steve and the rest will probably come back around seven.”

“Okay, sweet.” Peter gave out a big sigh of relief clapping his hands together cheerfully, momentarily forgetting about the Rolling Stones dealio, “By the way, we are okay with the totally accidental invading part, yeah?”

“Jarvis?” Bucky asked at the room at large.

“I haven't been able to re-establish servers as of this moment communication yet. The visitant ship is still emitting the pulse, I’m afraid.” Jarvis informed in his usual soothing voice, “if Sir has tried to contact us, he will only get white noise.”

Bucky gazed at the Guardians of The Galaxy who looked either rather peeved or surprised.

“Who was that?” Peter asked in wonder.

“He's Jarvis. He's the tower’s AI.” Bucky answered, Peter suddenly looked twenty years younger, like a kid in the middle of unwrapping presents.

“Can I offer anything? Something to drink? Eat? And by the way, could you turn off whatever your ship is doing? That way we both are gonna avoid trouble.” Bucky said as he directed his steps towards the adjacent room where the kitchen was.

“Sure!” Peter said genially at the same time Rocket answered: “ _No way_.”

“Rocket!” Peter spluttered, hissing furiously, “Bucky here has been really nice and hasn't pointed a gun to our heads! Neither has he threaten us to send us to the Asgardian court! And you know that's gonna be a _royalty level_ of legal fees if that happens!”

“I don't trust him.” Rocket pointed a tiny furry finger at Bucky. “He's shady as fuck. Besides, he has a gun and he’s hiding it.”

“What? No! He doesn't!” Peter said.

“I do,” Bucky said, pulling out the gun from under his shirt, and setting it on the counter, “Only a fool would head to confront possible threats weaponless.” He arched a brow at Rocket, daring him to say something back.

Instead of an answer, Bucky saw how Rocket assessed the gun from afar. “It doesn't mean that what I say isn't true,” he continued, “You want to make a deal with the Avengers, it would be wise to smooth things out before you're branded as intergalactic bandits.”

Peter coughed hard and awkwardly at that, and then said with some urgency, “You're right. You're absolutely right. Isn't he right, Rocket?”

“The pulse stays until the rainbow-y prince and his colorful friends come back.” Rocket glared at Bucky.

“Suit yourself,” Bucky said nonchalantly and then wondered if he should Tupperware whatever he ends up making before the tower blows up.

 

* * *

 

After that, with a rather stilted conversation, Bucky managed to convince Gamora and Drax to use the living room and the TV. There was already a movie queued for watching (probably Nat’s since she was still in her quest of making Steve catch up with pop culture) and since Bucky really didn't want to make his life harder than already was he left them with popcorn, candies, and soda. He retreated to the kitchen to arrange the ingredients for dinner and then immediately after went two floors down since Rocket was snooping around Clint’s room.

It became a game after that, Bucky retrieved Rocket from whatever room he scurried to while Peter and Groot (the cute little alien plant that was apparently Rocket’s best friend) followed while he did his arrests/captures.

_You're hiding something!_

_I'm not. You're just nosy. You're invading people’s privacy. Don't you have any shame?_

_He really doesn’t._

_I am Groot._

_Oh shut up you two!_

Finally, the last straw was drawn when Jarvis alerted him Rocket was snooping around Steve’s underwear drawer.

“Do you always feel inclined to perv around people’s undergarments, or it’s just Captain America’s underwear that matters to you?”

Behind Bucky, Peter gasped: _oh my sweet baby Jesus!_

Rocket glared at Bucky.

“You are so annoying.” Bucky glared back. “Since it matters so much to you why I'm here and since you can't use your fucking mouth to ask: I am alone in this fortress not because I'm hiding something but because I refuse to fight fights like _yours_ and _theirs_. I’ve already got enough shit done to me and I ain't dealing with anything like it or looking to get involved in anything like that anymore.”

Three pairs of eyes glanced at his shiny metal arm.

“Satisfied?” Bucky spat.

Rocket climbed off the drawer and hopped onto the floor.

“I'm not turning off the pulse.” He muttered sourly – petulantly. It reminded him of a child, or Tony on a bad day. It almost made Bucky sigh.

But Bucky didn't say anything to that, instead, he said, “Follow me.”

At least Rocket was following, _small miracles,_ Bucky thought to himself. The elevator ride was silent, Bucky could practically feel Peter’s about to burst into a litany of nonsense in an attempt to alleviate the mood. Before he could say anything, they reached the floor. Bucky signaled Rocket to go inside and he begrudgingly followed the silent order.

“This is my room. Entertain yourself and don't break anything. I'm sure you'll find the contents inside my laptop _extremely_ interesting. I think, entertaining enough for you to forget that Steve wears briefs.”

And with that the elevators doors closed behind.

“You think is safe leaving him in your room?” Peter asked unsure.

“I'll be satisfied with any absence of fire and explosions,” Bucky said, “and I'm sure he'll be happy with what he's gonna find.”

Peter still looked skeptical and Groot simply smiled happily.

“Now,” Bucky began, turning to Peter, “what I'm gonna do with you two?”

“I am Groot!” Groot chirped ecstatic.

 

* * *

 

Bucky ended up using Peter as sous-chef while making dinner. Peter was positively rubbish at it (his career as a chef was already over). Though, he wasn’t as big as a disaster as Thor. When Bucky suggested that maybe Peter should join Gamora and Drax in the living room, Peter’s dejected puppy look persuaded him otherwise – that's how they had to prepare the meal all over again while Peter was only allowed to chop vegetables.

Groot cheered them on from the counter nearby. So when Bucky sampled the food with a spoon, the tiny alien also wanted to participate in the tasting, but instead of actual food he got a spoon of fresh water. Groot looked delighted when Bucky was feeding him, so Bucky supposed that the water was just as good as any meal.

The only thing left was the dessert so Bucky opted for a simple flan with caramel. While they were preparing the mix they heard stifled noises coming from the living room. Peter and Bucky peeked across the counter. They saw Drax in tears while Gamora manfully restrained herself to sniffles – on the TV screen nine valiant toys were holding hands, fearless to their impending demise.

“Um, what?” Peter asked bemused.

“You'll get your turn,” Bucky said sagely.

They left them to their movie. They poured the contents of the flan mix in individual bowls and set them aside to cool down. They cleaned the dirty dishes and once they were done they fell in a companionable silence.

Bucky opened the fridge, “Can I offer you anything to drink?”

“ _Can I do your hair?_ ” Peter blurted out out of the blue.

Bucky paused, turned to Peter who looked as red as the sauce they made before, and then he closed the door of the fridge calmly. Bucky had met a tiny adorable sentient plant, a raccoon with anger issues, two stoic warriors who seemed weak against fluff and friendship; this request shouldn't faze him. And it didn't.

“Sure. We’ve already finished dinner so I’m free.” Bucky sat on a stool, and propped his chin up on his hand. “Do you need anything to do whatever you plan to do to my hair? Of everyone in the tower I think only Nat would have things but I don’t think it’s wise to go borrow stuffs without her knowledge.”

Bucky glanced at Peter who looked extremely embarrassed about the boldness of his actions (it was a bit of an odd request) but who also seemed thrilled by the opportunity Bucky was giving him. Peter assured him that he had everything that he needed and ran towards the exit to airspace where he had his ship docked.

While he waited, Bucky had an epiphany (or more accurately, its lesser important cousin: a mild realization). He had changed. He had freed himself of his invisible shackles. Though it wasn’t done over night; the Winter Soldier, the expectations of being the same Bucky Barnes after Hydra, the new way he had to act with his relationship with Steve… He had overcome those trials – he’d come to a point where he can let a stranger (though, to be honest, Peter was a good guy, and they cooked together) be near him. It was a nice thought, knowing he’d grown and become his own person once again.

Peter came back with a bag and as Bucky expected he began to talk, “Look, I didn't plan to say it like that, so suddenly and everything, but you have a great hair and it's just the right length to do a really nice braid work and it's nothing to brag about, but all my girlfriends have sung praises to my hair-styling skills—”

Peter then began to retell the story about the _“smoking-hot Rajak girl”_ and Bucky listened through it all with serenity. Peter began to talk about other things as he brushed Bucky’s hair, about his mother and how he did her hair before she lost it thanks to the chemo. Bucky gave his opinion regarding Peter’s mysterious father, and Peter agreed that he needed to find him, if not for personal reasons, but for the sake of knowing how he managed to contain an infinity stone with his bare hands.

“You're really good at this,” Bucky commented as he looked at his reflection on the mirror.

“Thanks,” Peter said, bashful.

After a bit, Peter cleared his throat. “Can I ask you something?”

Bucky hummed in response, still admiring Peter’s finished work with the braids and the alien red and blue flowers scattered on the side of his head.

“Since a while ago I’ve been getting this feeling that I know you from somewhere.” Peter tapped his hair brush thoughtfully on his chin.

“Maybe in comics or cards.” Bucky said absentmindedly, “People made a ton of those when Steve and I were still fighting back then.”

Peter’s hair brush fell dramatically on the floor.

He screamed, startling Bucky who whirled around to see Peter gaping, speechless. That was when he realized Peter didn’t _know_.

“Oh, yeah, I’m Bucky Barnes.” He fought the urge to laugh at Peter’s expression. “As you can see I’m not dead.”

“Oh my God, Oh my God, I just braided Bucky Barnes’ hair. Oh my God, why didn’t I record this? A camera! I need a camera! Oh fuck, can you give me your autograph? Can I shake your hand?”

Bucky tried to calm Peter down, but before he could the tower shook and a roar pierced the relative silence of common room.

“Ah, that’s bad,” Bucky said beginning to panic, he could recognize the Hulk’s roar anywhere. “Gather your friends before things get ugly.” He ordered Peter at once, “Jarvis, status report. Can you get in touch with the others before everything blows up?”

“The pulse is still going, Sgt. Barnes. However, according to my calculations Sir and the others are planning on making a coordinated attack from both the top and the bottom of the Avengers’ tower. Dr. Banner is likely to reach our guest’s ship in one minute, Sir not far behind. And it’s highly probable that Captain Rogers is, along with Miss Romanov, already making their way up while Mr. Barton infiltrates the ventilation conducts.”

“Where’s Rocket?” Bucky asked next, there was only one way this could go without a fight.

“I’m here.” Rocket said already skidding to a stop in the entrance, already holding his insanely huge weapon as if weighed nothing, “What the fuck is going on?”

“The thing that happens when you don’t do what I say,” Bucky said, irritated, “Grab Groot and stand behind me with the others. Things might get sour if you don’t behave.”

Rocket seemed about to protest but a barked order from his companions shut him up pretty quickly. He grabbed Groot’s pot and went to Gamora’s side. On the next second, the floor trembled and the wrenching sound of metal being bent echoed simultaneously.

“I hope you have insurance where you come from.” Bucky commented at their dismayed sounds when they realized their ship was being wrecked.

Tony’s unmistakable Iron Man’s metallic sounds appeared next, coming from the window across the room. Without preamble Tony used his repulsors to break it and got inside. Almost at the same time, Barton dropped down from the ceiling, already pointing an arrow to the nearest target which was Drax. Next, because Bucky couldn’t get a word out without an Avenger popping out from somewhere, Steve rushed through the main entrance holding a gun instead of his shield, not far behind Natasha was doing the same.

“Bucky!”

“Glad you’re still in one piece, James.”

“Who messed up with J’s network? And you! How dare you disregard the security protocols! They’re there for a reason! _Security!_ ”

“I leave for less than a week and this is what you do? Being a hostage is so last season, Barnes.”

Bucky couldn’t hold it any longer, he sighed deeply.

After it, an eerie silence descended upon the room. Bucky glanced at his team who looked ready to murder and bury several bodies at once, and then glanced behind him at his guests, who looked in various degrees of fight or flight response. Bucky held up his hands in surrender.

“I can explain everything, why you couldn’t connect with Jarvis and why there’s an adorable plant waving at you without a care in the world.” Bucky began. “But let’s all have dinner first. I made, with Peter’s help,” he gestured at Peter carefully. “something delicious and healthy and something even Tony is going to eat.”

The part of Tony’s helmet opened, “Does it have onions?”

“No.”

“Then let’s go, I’m famished.” and just like that, he removed his entire suit and went directly to the dining room. He expected to be served as usual. Barton debated for a few seconds before following Tony’s lead with a shrug and a “I see you” gesture towards Drax. Bruce appeared a bit after, mumbling about needing to shower first. Steve and Natasha were the only ones rooted to their spot. Bucky made his way towards them carefully. He made eye contact with Natasha. Their silent conversation went without a hitch and she holstered her weapon and went to her usual spot on the dining table.

“Hey.” Bucky said quietly, “It’s alright. They’re not bad guys.” He took Steve’s gun, prying it away gently. “They’re a bit... out of this planet, that’s all.” He half smiled at Steve who wore a scowl like a second face.

“Don’t be this carefree again,” Steve ordered in his no-nonsense voice.

“I wasn’t.” Bucky replied and Steve gripped the middle of his shirt, pulling in forcefully.

“You were alone.” Steve wasn’t raising his voice but the heat of his words were scalding.

“In a fortress.” Bucky reasoned, not trying to set off Steve’s temper but unwilling to give in.

“Look how that went.” Steve hissed angrily, pointing a finger to Bucky’s guests. “That’s why there’s a security protocol. To prevent this!”

“They were special circumstances, Steve.” Bucky sighed, “They are here for you guys actually. Something about Infinity Stones and the peace of the Galaxy. Where’s Thor by the way, I didn’t hear any thunder clouds in the distance. Did he stay in London with Jane?”

Steve didn’t say anything to that, just worked his jaw, grinding his teeth together.

Bucky muttered to himself, “For goodness’ sake.” And then pulled Steve into a tight hug, he pressed his cheek to Steve’s and said quietly, “You’re not gonna lose me again. I promise.”

It took mere seconds for Steve to reciprocate, but when he did, he seemed to want nothing more than hold Bucky then and there forever and not let go.

“Can you promise me not to be reckless?” Steve asked in a whisper.

“Can I ask you the same then?” Bucky whispered back amused, nosing Steve’s ear softly. “We can talk about what I can and what can’t do later. Let’s go eat, yeah?” Bucky began to pull back but Steve reeled him in again, pressing his mouth on Bucky’s, Steve’s hand held Bucky’s nape urging him to stay like that until Steve was satisfied. The intensity of Steve’s gaze told Bucky all. Bucky pressed his lips lightly against Steve’s again, saying quietly, _I love you too_.

Once they were out of their little bubble, much to Bucky’s surprise, they found The Guardians of The Galaxy led by their captain serving dinner. He guessed Peter had done the same he did before and explained who they were and what was their purpose, and maybe Jarvis also helped him too because it seemed that the whole group was more at ease.

Bucky turned to Steve with a winning smile, “Told you they weren’t bad guys.”

Steve just rolled his eyes and took his hand, leading him towards, what he could tell, would be an eventful dinner.


End file.
